“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” Phil. 4:4
The disappointment that accompanies a failed pregnancy test can bring about moments of anxiety. The depression that accompanies three years of failed pregnancy tests can be overwhelming. Like most young couples, Jodi and I spoke about how many children we wanted and when would like to have children. We are both very tall and somewhat athletic, so it just seemed natural to think that our children would be future basketball stars. The conversations are always fun and exciting. The discussions we had following the failed pregnancy tests were not so enjoyable. Disbelief and frustration soon began to set in. Why would God not give us the gift of a child? There are so many adults or teenagers in the world who have no interest in their children. There are so many children who are lonely and unloved. Surely God wants a loving couple like us to enjoy the fruits of parenthood and raise children according to His word. Jodi and I dealt with the empty feeling of not producing a child for close to 4 years. It seemed like every day we would find out about a friend who was pregnant again or having their first child. Does God really demand that we rejoice in such times? He does. It was a hard time, but it was that difficult time that drove Jodi and me to think about something we had not thought about up to that point— adoption.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
Once again Jodi and I had plans for our future. We had finally realized that we may not have children biologically, but we were focused on adopting two or three children over the course of 5 or so years. God certainly will provide for a couple who wants to adopt children. He must agree with our new plans, right?
Not quite so fast. The process of adoption through Bethany Christian Services and Gwinnett County would not be easy and would take at least one year and up to two years. Jodi and I had to take classes on parenting, first aid, background finger print checks and countless other measures. On a few occasions, our files went missing or our fingerprints did not take. We had to wait, wait for His plans to reveal themselves. For Jodi this wait brought her to the point of anger and tears. She stayed strong and probably was in denial disguised as happiness. Jodi prayed one day for the happy ending of this story. “I know that there will be a happy ending, but I am sick of waiting!” Jodi started reading books and looking for support groups.
It happened right after Jodi finished reading a book about someone who had lost much more than we had. Reality had set in that things could really be much worse for us. We hadn’t miscarried, we hadn’t lost a child, we didn’t have a failed adoption. We just couldn’t get pregnant, and we didn’t know exactly why. Previously our reactions were of silent despair and disappointment without much response but a little hope for the next month. This time Jodi was angry and at the end of her rope. Shortly thereafter His wonderful plan was revealed to us. The phone rang, and it was Bethany. They had a little girl for us. A little girl, born two months early, who was waiting for us to be her parents. At that instant it seems like all the pain just went away. Our empty hearts were filled with love for a 3 pound 3.5 ounce itty bitty perfect baby girl. We rejoiced in His plan for our family.
We would still be tested. We would be tested with a birth mother who went missing for many months only to appear eight months later wanting her baby back. We had to surrender to God that He was in control, and His plan would be done. We may not have liked the idea of our baby going back to her birth mother, but we had to trust in God’s plans even though we didn’t like it.
We continue to live rejoicing in His plans for us. We were blessed with another child— a little boy, our daughter’s biological half brother— a year after we were blessed with Grace. Wyman came to us with about two hours notice.
We now look at God’s plans with even more awe. Now on the other side we see His perfect plan and how it unveiled itself, and we feel completely blessed and loved. We rejoice!